New Website, New Blog

I stopped writing on this blog a few years ago.

I no longer consider myself a newlywed. But I still have a lot of thoughts and lessons to share…

If anyone happens onto this website, I’ve created an entirely new blog at … Please check it out!

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Scribbled Signature


I’ve been married a year, but I still haven’t figured out a decent way to sign my new last name. The beginning “E” is legible, but that’s it. I normally scribble the rest. I try to make the scribbles look similar to the last time I scribbled my name on some important form, but I’ve not always been successful. Luckily nobody has raised the issue yet. My biggest problem is the cursive “z”. It’s not my fault my elementary teachers said cursive was going out of style! To my generation, typing is more important than cursive skills. Anyway, today I practiced signing my name. I think I need to work on it some more.

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The Double Standard of Eating

My eating situation is very different when Jason is out of town than when he is home – in these two ways:

  1. When he is gone, I’m very unmotivated to cook anything nice. I’d rather save my efforts for a night I’m fixing food for someone else to enjoy.
  2. When I do cook, it’s only once for the entire week. Food lasts longer when Jason is gone and is eaten in a flash when he is home.

This week, Jason left on Saturday and returns Friday night. I cooked a large, “serves six” Chicken Tetrazzini on Sunday and have been eating on it ever since. Sure, I’m getting tired of it, but it’s just so easy and at least it’s a more substantial meal than a sandwich.

When I’m preparing a meal for someone else, I feel I have a responsibility to provide something nutritious and desirable. I don’t feel the same kind of responsibility to myself. Maybe I’m wrong to feel that way. First Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” I’ve been telling myself that I owe it to God and myself to eat well and that I should make the effort to create a full balanced meal. But I’m not there yet.

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Our first anniversary goes down in history as the golf anniversary.

I don’t like golf. My dad is an enthusiast and tried to teach me when I was 14, but I didn’t have the interest. Jason recently has rekindled his passion for the game, so as our anniversary neared, he strongly hinted (okay, he told me) he wanted a travel bag for his golf clubs. We stopped by Sports Authority for him to check out their products, but instead of leaving with his anniversary gift, we left with mine.

“Let’s see how much you really love me,” he said. Then he pointed at a complete set of women’s golf clubs. “Oooooh, they’re purple. They’re so pretty,” he said.

I stood there silent for a long time. I processed: I am not interested in golf. If I were to try to play, it would take a long time to become decent, and anyway, it’s an expensive and time-consuming hobby. It’s a sport that doesn’t help you stay fit, and it’s not always convenient to get to a course. BUT … I hadn’t seen Jason that excited in a long time. And I was touched that he loves me enough to want to share that hobby with me. Many men use golf as a means to escape from their wives for a while. But my husband loves me and wants more shoulder time with me.

I said okay.

So on our anniversary, we headed to the driving range for my first lesson from Jason. He now has his gift, too, and all I’m left wondering is how much golf I’ll be playing this year.

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Idolizing love

I’ve never seen the movie Jerry Maguire, but I’ve heard that famous line. You complete me. He loved her and his life wasn’t right without her.

Tom Cruise and Renee Zellweger in Jerry Maguire

While I think romance is fun and it’s important to have loved ones in our lives, I say this quote is a sham. It’s a ridiculous – though prevalent – idea that the most important thing is to find “the one” who will help us make sense of life.

I’ll admit; if I watched the show myself I probably would have gotten swept away with the sweet words and idolatry of relationships that these chic flicks emanate. Instead, I heard a pastor talk about the movie, and I agree with what he said. The men in our lives CANNOT fulfill us. My husband will fail me and wound me, just as I will fail and wound him, because we are both imperfect. To expect him to complete me would put a pressure on him that he is unable to sustain, and in turn resentment will arise in me towards him for being unable to do what he was never created to do. Unrealistic expectations are poisonous to our relationship.

I must put my hope in God. Jesus defines me. My strength and purpose come from Him. Not Jason. I’ve been married 11 months now, and I’ve seen my husband mess up a lot already. I’m often tempted to put Jason on a pedestal in that I look up to him and expect much from him. The truth is he can’t love me perfectly. He will never love me as much as I want to be loved. It would be disappointing except for the fact that I AM loved perfectly by God. I may not always experience depth and intimacy with Jason, but I have it whenever I want with Jesus.

I pray that I will always value my relationship with Christ more than with my man.

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All Alone

I’m married, but my sleeping partner is a 10-pound miniature pinscher. My husband lives, but I do laundry, vacuum, and make the bed alone. I have a life partner, but I cook dinner for myself. No, we’re not separated or having marital issues … Jason has begun traveling for his work.

 Last week, this week, and next week it will happen again: Jason is gone Monday through Friday with his national sales manager job. I knew it was coming. I’ve accepted it. And it’s fine. For now (but I’m not going to deal with this long term).

 Jason has been excited about the chance to fly around, see new cities, stay in nice hotels, and meet other insurance people. I’m sure it beats his old cubicle! He’s already seen New Orleans, Kansas City, Birmingham, and more. I love traveling so I wish I could go along with him and explore while he works. But my job is here in Houston and someone has to watch after the dog.

My brother figured I was dealing with the distance well because dad was constantly gone flying airplanes for Delta as we grew up. That might be part of it. More so, I credit the fact that for two years Jason and I dated long-distance. Our relationship was built on phone conversations. Jason said on the phone last week that it felt like we were dating again.

 Of course I prefer for him to be home. But I’m okay for now. I’m getting a lot accomplished, and I’ve been bonding with the dog. I imagine after a few more months of this I’ll grow tired of it and want my man home with me. We’ll see.

 So here’s an open question: How do you cope when your husband is away? Do you love the alone time or do you miss him terribly? Do either of you do something sweet for each other? How do you end up spending your evenings?

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Catching up on things

For me, blogging is like any other task. Once you start to get behind, the work piles up fast, and it becomes so overwhelming you’d rather not do it at all.

There’s so much I could talk about, but I’m going to break down the past month into bite-sized pieces so I can get through with it and move on with my life.

Moved: At the end of January Jason and I moved into a one bedroom apartment in the Upper Kirby area of Houston. Jason was offered a great new job in his hometown, and we were happy to get back to the city. We’re in a great location, within a mile from each of our workplaces, and within walking distance of NINE Mexican restaurants!

Houston: It’s so great being close to friends and family. We’re really happy. We’ve gotten back into teaching swing dancing, and we’ve enjoyed going to the Farmers Market each weekend.

New Job: I sent an email to a nearby Bed and Breakfast owner about how I was looking for a job, and she immediately called saying she just lost her breakfast chef. (Some might say coincidence, but I know better.) The following Monday I began work at 6:30 am, and I really like it! I enjoy cooking and entertaining, and I’ve learned a lot already. My boss is awesome, the guests are friendly, and we have a group of regulars I see each week. I’ll soon be an expert muffin and omelet maker.

Certified: I recently got certified in CPR and now I’m studying to be a group fitness instructor. I enjoy aerobic classes and want to spread the love!

Marathon: For Valentine’s Day we went to Austin to run the marathon. Back in November, when we registered for the event, it sounded like a good idea. I had just finished my first half-marathon and thought I’d train up in time for the 26.2 miles in February. With moving and cold weather and plain laziness, I didn’t end up training well. Neither did Jason, so we decided to change to the half-marathon … but it was too late to officially change. Our bibs would say we were marathon runners, but we planned on just running the half. Well, that is what I thought I would do. Until mile six. At mile six on race day I felt pretty good. By mile ten, when the marathon runners split from half-marathon runners, I still felt fine and figured that if there’s any time in my life I would be able to run a marathon without training and without feeling too much pain afterwards, it would be now. Plus, I didn’t want to run another event ever again and I felt like I should do at least one marathon in my life. So I kept going. It was tough, but I forced myself to run the entire way (except during water breaks where I walked). I finished in 4 hours and 25 minutes. I’m glad that’s over and done!

Car Wreck: On Friday a huge semi truck decided to pull into my lane without noticing me, and after he hit the left rear end of my car I was sent flying uncontrollably across the road and into the grass median. It’s because of God’s mercy I didn’t hit anyone in the process. My car is messed up but drivable, and I didn’t get hurt. This was my first wreck ever. Frustratingly, the truck driver lied to the police so the report doesn’t place the blame on either of us and I’ll have to pay for my own damages. I’m counting my blessings, though, because I should have come out of the wreck much worse.

That’s all for now. More married life stuff coming soon!’

I love the city! Bunmi came with me to a freelance gig at a fashion event where I noted what attendees were wearing and took pictures. We scored goodie bags on the way out. Fun times!

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